Future?

It's unbelievable how each year, since the beginning of high school, my perfectly laid plans for myself have unavoidably deteriorated. When I entered my freshman year, I had aspirations of being a Navy Pilot (something that I have always wanted) then came the whole doctor phase. Now, here I am my senior year in high school without any idea of what I want to do. Now seems to be the time where I am to start taking life seriously and making responsible, educated choices. Now I come to a crossroad in my life where I choose what to do with my future, choose what will make me happy. My plans for the future is having a great job with a loving wife and kids who are willing to support me in my good and bad times. But now I realize that there are so many other steps I need to take in order to achieve these so-called "goals." This includes graduating from high school and college, finding that wife I plan to marry, and finding that perfect job. I have begun to realize that I have yet to begin my life; everything up until now has been practice, as if I have been in a cage and it is only now that I am beginning to break free and do things for myself. I want to be satisfied with my decisions, to be able to accept and forgive, and most of all to be able to live up to the expectations I have for myself. The future is an exciting but somewhat scary concept to grasp, but we all must try to grasp it at some point.

On an even more personal level, family life is becoming well....hecktic....parents are arguing, brother is...being a brother, and again that whole future thing is closing in with each passing second. I'm struggling with the decisions I have to make and the responsibilities that I have to juggle as well. My girlfriend is thinking about going to college in Texas...I am in full support for whatever decision she decides to make...but it's not going to be easy for us...she and I have a close and I mean close bond and it will be hard for us to be apart for so long; but that's one of those situations that she and I are going to have to put into God's hands. But I will miss her like crazy! I'm still waiting to hear back from some of my colleges myself. NC State sends me their letter of rejection or acceptance on Friday, and it being my college of choice at the moment is very nerve-racking. So that's pretty much my life at the moment, trying to handle the future with school, the woman I love, my career path, and my family. It's a pretty crazy life. But it's one that I live.

-Jbell